How to Open Your Heart

Human beings need connection!

The kind of connection that allows us to let go and be present.

The kind of connection that facilitates the growth of the heart and the healing of the soul. The kind of connection that nurtures our innately compassionate hearts.


image003Your hearts are talking to each other…when you begin to talk to your own heart, you will know how to talk to others, sometimes without saying a thing with your mouth or your brain which sometimes can be better …but you…have been at war between your brain, your heart and your body. It is time to allow them their own unique communication and to let them function as a triad to work harmoniously.


It doesn’t need to be more complicated than listening to your heart and following it. Because your heart has memory. Your heart has wisdom. Your heart has consciousness. Your heart actually thinks, and when you can develop a balanced dialogue between the heart and the mind, that’s when everything falls into alignment. Your mind should follow your heart, not the other way around. They need to work together, and the head should take its cue from the heart. Not contradict it and run everything. That’s negative ego. The mind needs to understand that the heart is the centre of your being for a reason! Not the head. We’ve been taught that our minds matter more than our hearts. When you understand that it’s the heart that counts, you will then reverse the upside-down relationship you have between your heart and your mind. Then you will move forward harmoniously.


But sometimes, the deepest core of your being comes under assault. Sometimes the hurt is so great that your heart needs protection. And when this occurs, the subconscious mind will form a “wall” of energy around your heart to protect it from being totally broken. This “Heart-Wall” is made from the energy of the trapped emotions that have become lodged in your own body during times of emotional stress.


Living with a Heart-Wall mean living a diminished life. When you have a ‘wall’ around your heart, it’s much more difficult for you to give and receive love, much more difficult for you to create the life you want, and much more difficult for you to find your soul mate.


Do you have a “Heart-Wall” around your own heart? If you do, what price might you be paying?




To love yourself, you must have an open heart. When you do, you’re receptive to the love and goodness of life. You see, feel and attract the positive in the world. You connect with the spirit of life rather than its drama. You can’t experience love of any sort, for yourself or otherwise, if your heart isn’t open for its only the open heart that allows you to receive, feel and experience love of source, life and others. As a divine being you and everyone else are born with an open heart. It’s the heart that expects life to be a positive, wonderful experience


The open heart looks forward to life. it delights in experience and enjoys the wonders and gifts of being alive. If your heart is closed, you cut yourself off from all the goodness of life. In this state, you won’t be able to connect with your spirit, nor will you be able to enjoy beauty or music or laughter or love. If your heart is closed you can’t feel or experience any of the sweetness that life offers, and you become isolated in your ego, thrive on the mundane and materialism of life, and other quick fixes such as shopping, frequent holidays, convenient sexual interludes, drugs and alcohol, but sooner or later these things lose their appeal.


We all start life with an open heart and a direct connection to our source, the holy divine. Sadly we soon begin to experience human ego confusion such as anger, judgment, and disapproval which makes us disconnect from our spirit and close our hearts, this results in pain, disappointment, and injury.. which in turn causes our egos to panic , closing our hearts even more. we become caught in a vicious cycle of misery.


Through the eyes of the ego, there will always be a million reasons for closing your heart. Yet the minute you do so, you disconnect from your source, which is divine love. To close your heart, for whatever reason is like plucking a flower and putting in a drawer. No matter how your ego justifies this act, you deny yourself all love and nurturing from life and others, which you need to grow. Essentially you sentence your spirit to a slow death. That’s why keeping your heart open is among the most important and perhaps most challenging of all. It’s hard to keep your heart open when the world hurts you, but to close it at these times is more painful than anything life throws at you. To do so is to cut yourself off from living. its self-destruction and the most painful of all choices you could ever make. You must maintain an open heart in order to stay in a close and receptive relationship with all that nurtures and supports your spirit, no matter what disappointments come only an open heart assures that life’s gifts will keep flowing towards you only an open heart sustains your soul in every way.


To maintain this state of being, you only have to make one simple decision: Expect good things when you do you claim you right as a divine and beloved being, to be beautifully provided for and nourished throughout life not matter what unfolds What you expect is what you attract. The open heart is a portal to Heaven and the gateway for your spirit to enter your body. It’s the most powerful centre you have. So to love yourself and live your spirit, always keep your heart open to the universe’s gifts. The universe has a plan and positive things are always in store for your, but remember that you can only receive them if your heart is open.




  • You judge others harshly.
  • You find faults in others.
  • You avoid new experiences out of fear.
  • You feel stuck.
  • You’re full of fear and doubt.
  • You’re mean.
  • You are critical of yourself and others.
  • You show little affection to others.
  • You are reserved and protected.
  • You keep to yourself.




  • You smile and laugh easily.
  • You show affection towards others.
  • You love to hug.
  • You see the good in people.
  • You are open to new experiences.
  • You accept people just the way they are.
  • You show interest in others.
  • You are in love with life.
  • You attract awesome situations and events into your life.







People can experience heartache and vow not to be vulnerable again. Some put up walls to try and protect their hearts. This sets them up for failure. for e.g. when Lisa picked Jack to marry, because he loved her more than she loved him, not only did she “settle” but she falsely assumed that this was a guarantee against heartbreak.


Unfortunately, this assumption didn’t hold up. Jack divorced her after three years of marriage, and Mary was devastated. Those with guarded hearts get hurt worse than those with open hearts. In an attempt to avoid pain, they’ve chosen the wrong person, not the right soul mate. Making a decision based on fear, in this case the fear of getting hurt, is not supported by the Universe.




Be mindful of fear, anxiety, guilt or shame, as these are all emotions which will slam your heart’s door shut. Be aware of your traumas, stories and drama; they will also catapult you away from your heart’s opening.


If you can alter your thoughts about rejection, you can save yourself a myriad of grief. The truth is that there is no rejection, only the wrong fit. So when your partner breaks up with you saying ‘I’m not feeling it’, instead of being devastated and assuming something is wrong with you, understand that you simply weren’t right together. A door was being closed for you, so that you can be available when the right soul mate comes along. You don’t need to examine extensively what you thought you did wrong or what you should or shouldn’t of said or done.


It would never have worked out, because they are not right for you, it’s that simple and this fact needs to be accepted to move forward. If your history has been that you felt you were the one always giving too much, it is within your control to give as much as you want, to discuss how you want to the relationship to transpire.





One compelling reason not to guard your heart (which fails anyway) is that you can trust the Universe to guard your heart. How? Every time fear about dating comes up, take the time to find faith within you, the part of you that knows you are protected. Envision yourself putting your heart right into the hands of the Universe for safekeeping. Then, look for the signs of support that happen. You will see them, and feel reassured.




When someone becomes your life and you lose a sense of yourself in a relationship (and you give away your power), you are making them your everything. Love is powerful and can sweep us away. This is fine, as long as you continue to have good self-esteem and a life outside of your love by focusing on your purpose. There is only one source – and that is yourself. While a soul mate may mirror part of you by opening you up to deep love and growth, don’t mistake them as being your source.




When someone becomes your life and you lose a sense of yourself in a relationship (and you give away your power), you are making them your everything. Love is powerful and can sweep us away. This is fine, as long as you continue to have good self-esteem and a life outside of your love by focussing on your purpose. There is only one source – and that is yourself. While a soul mate may mirror part of you by opening you up to deep love and growth, don’t mistake them as being your source.





  • Let others into your life so that you both can create a relationship built on an understanding of mutual respect,caring and love to assist one another in growing and maturing independently.
  • Open yourself up to let others in on your background, problems, issues with the assurance they will not judge you.
  • Expect respect. Place yourself in the vulnerable position of expecting others to treat you in a fair, open and honest way.
  • Be open. This allows you to become a real person to others, it is essential behaviour in trust-building between two people because it establishes the strengths and weaknesses that you can draw on as the relationship develops.
  • Vulnerability. Being vulnerable can open you up to being hurt, but it’s an important step in building trust. It’s a gamble but dare to believe that others will accept you for who you really are rather than whom they want you to be.
  • Try to let go of fear. Simply put fear restricts your actions with others. Letting go. frees the constraints that can put your emotions on ice. Think of the fears holding you back: fear of failure, of caring, of being hurt, of intimacy, of success. These fears(and others) block the development of trust and opening your heart in relationships and can prevent relationships from growing if not addressed.
  • Self Acceptance. Accepting who you are and your potential is an important step in letting your guard down enough to develop a trusting relationship with others. Self acceptance through self affirmation and self love is key to the development of trust and opening of the heart.


Madeleine Marie Terides


Relationship Coach